There is a particular kind of anxiety that comes when everyone around you is asking the same question, but nobody really has the answer.
Where will we be next year?
It comes up in our conversations, sometimes seriously and sometimes as a joke. We talk about recruitment, vacancies and examinations, and somehow the question always finds its way back. We are officially in the waiting room. For years, there was always another stage ahead of us. We knew what we were preparing for and what came next. Now, for the first time, the next page is mostly blank. Some of us already have an idea of where we want to go. Some are still figuring it out. Some are thinking about the limited opportunities and wondering what happens if the opportunity they are hoping for does not come. That uncertainty is difficult because this time it feels very real.
The Myth of the “Toughest Stage”
Growing up, we often heard our seniors and elders warn us about the next stage. Every stage was supposed to be harder than the one before it. At the time, those words made the future sound almost impossible. But here we are. We walked through the stages we were warned about, and somehow we learned our way through them. Looking back, I think we sometimes fear a stage more before entering it than while living it. Once the storm arrives, we simply look for a way through. Not every storm passes quickly, and not every trail becomes smooth. But somewhere along the way, we learn to keep walking. Maybe that is what we have already been doing without realizing it.
The Truth about the “Slots”
The conversation about vacancy slots feels different because this time it is connected to what comes next. We know there are limited opportunities and many people waiting for them. Naturally, we wonder who will get the chance they are hoping for and what happens when things do not go according to plan. Sometimes it feels as though we are all standing at the same point, looking at the same road. But life does not always follow the road we imagined. Some may get the opportunity they are waiting for. Some may have to wait. Others may take a completely different route. It may not be the route they planned, but that does not mean it will be the wrong one for them. Perhaps TP taught us a little about this too. No matter how much we prepared, real situations could still take an unexpected turn. We learned to adjust, and maybe that is something we will continue doing long after leaving PCE.
One day, we may meet again and realize how differently our lives turned out. Someone may be teaching somewhere far from Paro. Someone may be working in a field they never expected. Someone may have taken a longer route simply because that was the road available to them. We came to Paro as students, sharing much of the same road. We will leave with different destinations waiting for us. Maybe some of us will find smooth trails quickly. Maybe some will have to walk through a few more storms first. Either way, we will keep going. We have already learned that a difficult road does not necessarily mean we are lost. Perhaps that is what the unknown really is. Not an empty space, but a road we cannot see yet. We do not know where we will be next year. For once, there is no timetable telling us. The map simply has not been drawn yet. And maybe that is exactly where the interesting part begins.